Stupid Weather

I wanted to go for a drive tonight. I say this to myself a lot, usually after a day where I sit in my dirty apartment play online poker for 12 hours and wind up with nothing to show for it. Poker is one of the funnest games in the world, it challenges you, it allows you to connect with people from around the world. I literally said things to myself today like "Wow, a Spaniard didn't pay me off?" And "Why in the world did you try to bluff a German?" (The Germans, they are not big on folding, it implies surrender and they don't like that. If poker was big in Japan I would imagine the same thing would apply.) Anyway, I wanted to go for a drive and just listen to the radio but a friend of mine warned me that is very slippery out so I guess I won't be doing that. If I could invent anything it would be a button that one could push just so they could fall asleep. See in general I think I am a happy person that enjoys being around people and making them laugh and laughing with them. It is these times in the late evening where I cannot sleep due to my own poor habits that my bad emotions kick in. Anger, resentment etc. And at the end of the day, I really shouldn't feel that way because none of it matters. One thing I do when I'm feeling down is look at the Twitters and Facebooks of people that I know are much worse off then me. I know it is not healthy but it helps! I can realize that I have friends, I'm pretty healthy (I even lost 6 pounds this week) and that I can go to the mall and spend $400 on myself at Express. Yet I don't know I still get this emptiness in me from time to time. It's possible that living alone for the past year while in some ways was great, hurt me a little bit. It allowed myself to be isolated and simply not have to turn it on when I didn't want to. In a matter of weeks I am moving in with my best friend and very much looking forward to it. Some people tell you it is a terrible idea to live with your best friend, I would bet those people are women. Tony and I are going to have an awesome time and I really think it will help lift my spirits.